I am a 42-year-old man, and I’ve been married for six years. During this time, my wife has given birth to two children, a boy and a girl, now aged 3 and 2. Both of them are albinos, and I find myself grappling with disappointment, confusion, and shame. if you are reading from Phoenix Browser make sure you click on Read Original on the top to read the full and original version of the Article.
When my wife got pregnant just five months after our wedding, I was over the moon. I eagerly anticipated the arrival of my first child. However, when our son was born and I realized he was an albino, I was filled with disappointment. It hit me hard – harder than I ever expected. I even refused to pay the hospital bills, blaming my wife, as though she had control over the outcome.
With time, my family and friends tried to console me. They shared words of encouragement, assuring me that having an albino child was not something to be ashamed of. I forgave my wife, hoping that the next pregnancy would be different. But when my wife became pregnant again, my hope was dashed a second time. Our second child, a daughter, was also an albino.
Now, two years later, I feel lost. I struggle to feel proud of my children. To me, it’s almost as though I am childless. I can’t shake the feeling that having albino children reflects poorly on me as a man. There are moments when I feel too embarrassed to even attend community gatherings because I believe people are whispering about me behind my back.
I am convinced the issue is not with me. My family has no history of albinism – my parents had three children, none of whom were albinos. My siblings also have children, and none of them are albinos. This led me to believe that my wife is the cause, and over time, I began to resent her.
Gradually, I grew distant from her, and I made the regrettable decision to begin an affair with our housemaid. She’s now pregnant, and I am thrilled at the prospect of having what I perceive to be a "normal" child. In fact, I’ve gone so far as to pay her bride price, and we are planning to marry. My mother is fully supportive of this decision – she, too, has been longing for grandchildren who are not albinos.
While I feel excitement about the new baby on the way, I am filled with dread about how to break the news to my wife. She is a good woman, and despite my feelings about our children, I still love her deeply. She has high blood pressure (HBP), and I fear the news could seriously affect her health. But I can’t deny the relief I feel at the thought of having a child who I believe will fit societal norms.
I am torn. I don't regret my actions – in my mind, I have done what any man in my shoes would do. But I don’t know how to handle this situation. How do I tell my wife about my affair and the new baby on the way without causing her harm? How do I balance my excitement with my guilt over potentially hurting someone I still care for?
I am at a loss and need guidance. Please, help me figure out how to approach this delicate situation.
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